Content in this season

Forest and Melody sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage?  

No, I am not pregnant as far as I know. But I feel like singing that familiar tune to sum up conversations  over this last weekend.  πŸ˜‰ Pretty crazy

– when I was describing being seasick in Maui I was asked if I was pregnant

– At the exact same moment that I had a thought maybe I am pregnant…. I overheard a friend asking Forest about us having children

– We wear name tags at church and I often write musical notes on mine for Melody. I was told that you need three notes to make a Melody.. A friend said… “Ooo triplet notes, what does that mean?” Wink wink.  

– Forest told me of yet another person who urged us not to wait too long  because I am turning 32.

I was kind of expecting this but I am still on the last day of honeymoon!

It is fun and beautiful to experience people’s joy and excitement and care for us.  I do the exact same thing!

Just recently, I was at a party for a newly wed couple and I overheard the bride talk about frequent stomach sickness.  I leaned over to her with a grin and said “So…. You’ve been sick?!”  “Yes, I have an infection in my liver” she replied.  “Oh… So sorry to hear that.” Oops…. I was grateful that I had at least been a little subtle. 😬 

Everyone gets excited and we look forward to having children.  I LOVE babies and children. Few things give me more joy than being with them.  And yet, now that I am on the other side, I have to speak to the unintentional pressure that I am feeling from loved ones.

It is very similar to what I faced when I was single.. “Have you met anyone?” “Are you interested in anyone?” “Do you want to get married?” “How come you are not married?” “You should wear more makeup…”   I had to fight hard to convince people that I while yes, I did want to get married, I was choosing to be content in my season of singleness and enjoying many things in life.

Advertising tells us that we can never be satisfied… I have been brainwashed by that and choosing contentment is like trying to climb up Niagara Falls sometimes but totally worth it.  I learned that lesson when I was single and I am determined to reap the benefits of it in my marriage.

I am realizing more and more that the conception of a baby is a miracle and even when all of the “conditions” that we can control are right it may not happen. Likewise, when the conditions are not right and conception seems impossible, babies have been born. I know many stories of that happening.   I am also walking with people for whom that is not happening.  It is painful.  To those friends I say, I admire your courage and trust in God. I love you.

In our fast paced life we are always moving on to the next thing.  Yesterday’s celebration is of the past. What is next?  I am thinking that as Forest goes back to work tomorrow.  Wedding is done, Honeymoon is over. What next?

I read through our wedding guest book today to distract myself from thinking about pregnancy and I found it so encouraging.  Words of life and blessing.  I will need to look at that again and again as we walk through fire and water.  We will continue to need those words of encouragement from you. Especially now that the wedding and Honeymoon are over.

I have a daily bible verse app and this was the verse today:

Isaiah 43:1–2

But now thus says the LORD who created you, Jacob, and he who formed you, Israel: β€œDon’t be afraid, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by your name. You are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, and flame will not scorch you.”

Choosing contentment in the midst of change and not change is hard. Will I get pregnant? I don’t know.  When? I don’t know.  How many kids? I don’t know.

I know that I just got married to a wonderful man and we are starting a journey of trust and intimacy that will be like walking through fire and water, joyous and difficult.

I know that Yahweh (God) will never leave us or forsake us as Isaiah says.

I know that we are surrounded by loving excited friends and family who want the best for us.

I know that I am loving being a wife and I will love being a mother if and when that happens.

Whenever I start to worry about my age I think of the story of Abraham and Sarah. God is the same yesterday, today and forever.  What he did for them he can do for Forest and me. I have a sneaking suspicion though that he won’t make us wait until we are 100. πŸ˜‰

Thanks for listening. ❀️

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