Calm after the storm

Thank God for Friday. Taking a breath, quiet peace. Calm after the storm.

On Tuesday I had a job interview as a Teacher on call for my city’s district. I haven’t worked for a year so I spent butterfly tummy time reasearching the new BC curriculum, researching the local district (which saved my butt during a tough question. Always research your potential employers!) and throwing clothes around and looking for just the right shade of lipstick.

The second I got in the car my, ahem, time of the month happened. Perfect timing. Dash back to the house. With my heart pounding in my ears I found the last parking spot and dashed into the district office just on time. The receptionist smiled brightly and informed me that my interviewer was in a meeting and asked if I wanted a glass of water. She then proceeded to sing along to “I can see clearly now” on the radio. My sweaty palms became slightly less sweaty as I waited and tried to look important. Maybe it would be a bright sunshiny day after all…

Moments later I called my husband with the exciting news that they were going to call my references and said they were looking forward to chatting again. He was as supportive as he possibly could be in his second day of three 12 hour shifts at work this week. Audit time is coming.

I wrote a song about that here:

My adrenalin was still pumping from the interview and I was anticipating chill time when a (what turned out to be small) family crisis kept the adrenals going for the next 12 hours.

Yesterday was my education day with piano and badminton lessons. What a gift to be able to learn and chase and hopefully catch some dreams. I remember my friends talking about royal conservatory grades and complaining about exams while I inwardly complained that I couldn’t join them. Well, I started learning my first piece for my grade 1 Royal Conservatory exam. It’s hard to motivate myself to practice. Easier to write a blog about it. 😉 I promise I will practice right after I hit publish.

As amazing as my piano and badminton coaches are I could hardly keep my eyes open.. but the illusive nap never came. I bought some toilet paper from a place in Delta and the lady was so nice she carried the box out to my car. Small blessings are huge.

Last night Forest and I spent the first evening together this week.

He realize more how precious he is to me when I don’t see him as often. Grumpiness about him “not being home enough” gives way to humble gratitude. All time is precious.

I woke up this morning looking forward to a pretty chill emotionally balanced day until I saw a message on my phone. My friend has been at Children’s hospital with her newborn and I was planning to spend some time with her daughter so she can have more time with the baby training with nurses and preparing for a joyful trip home.

“Just wanted to let you know [the baby] is not doing well. The doctors want to remove his support on Sunday.”

Life support. Flash back to January 1991. I was six years old and my little brother was on life support after being rushed to the hospital when he didn’t wake up from his nap. My parents remember holding him and rocking him and saying good bye after it was removed. I didn’t get to say good bye in that way. I was back at Esperanza being looked after by friends. I have said good bye in other ways and right now I am sitting on my couch wrapped in his blanket.

My mom gave it to me a few years ago when I was living with them and it became a cherished treasure. My friend’s story might end up being similar but I hope not. Sunday is not here yet so please pray. I want to meet this little boy and see his life unfold with his beautiful parents and big sister.

I sang and cried and poured my heart out this morning and now I feel peace.

Matthew 21:22

All things, whatever you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.

This was the verse on my phone today.

I remember kneeling by my bed with my brother Daniel praying that my little brother Matthew wouldn’t die. And then I was angry with God for a long time when he did die.

But Matthew is alive. More fully alive than I am. Like a child again, I am learning to trust my Abba Father. I don’t know what the future is for my friend and her family or what the future is for my healthy sister and her healthy soon to be born baby or for anyone. Time is precious. I am thankful for every moment of life and health.

I don’t know when my jaw surgery will be so I can’t plan when I will have a baby.

But I know that God knows the number of hairs on my head and all of the days of my life. And that is where I find peace after the storm.

Peace to you today whether you are in a storm or are enjoying a bright sunshiny day.

A grateful glimmer this week is that I got to know two neighbours better who are my age.

Community is coming!

Thanks for reading 😊

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