Separate beds (so we can take turns sleeping instead of both being up)
catching the occasional hug and kiss when Elaina is happy being put down.
Dreaming about sex.
”It’s like we’re dating again.” Forest said.
”Ah, but you get to see my boobs.”
“That’s a bonus” He replied as he hurried out the door for another busy work day.
“I should have added along with everyone else” I said to myself after he left.
Forest and I dated long distance. He was here, I was on Quadra Island. Late night Skype conversatios, exciting, intense weekend visits.
Feels kind of like we’re long distance again. Middle of the night sleepy conversations. Exciting brief visits, short meals together with a sleeping baby. Side by side on our devices.
One day my sweet sister and her family watched Elaina so Forest and I could have a nap together. Glorious.
“What do people do if their whole relationship is based on physical affection and sex and they have a baby?” I asked Forest. Stretch or crumble?
“A baby changes everything” was a Christmas song on the radio last year.
Ultimately for the better.
i am seeing my husband step up in so many ways. Working hard with numbers to provide housing for hundreds of people and then coming home to cook, wash dishes, do laundry, change diapers, rock and bounce the baby so I can sleep and she doesn’t miss milk too much, and feed our now frequently neglected but so far still alive pet fish. And he’s rarely grumpy. It’s those baby cuddles… and just doing it. “We are doing this!” He said “I was scared and thought it would be a lot harder.”
I miss my husband, miss him a lot. But there is something beautiful happening. Growth. And how sweet it will be when baby sleeps long enough for us to come together again. A second honeymoon awaits.
Dating is a lot about observation. Seeing your partner go through life and watch how they respond. Seeking to get to know this person better and imagine and having a life together with them.
Sometimes in marriage, perhaps it is good to step back and observe for a while.
Forest, you’re amazing. I can’t imagine raising Elaina with anyone else.