Getting up again

God speaks to me so much through my daughter. She is almost joyful as she falls down and quickly gets up again. Like it’s a game. Often when she falls she wails, but this moment, this night was special. There was momentum and hope. Learning how to walk.

I felt a whisper in my heart. You are learning how to walk too. Be kind to yourself. Cheer yourself on, just as you do for your daughter.

People say I am hard on myself and it is true. Bad grades, losing a job, saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing.. become sticky memories that latch on to my mind accusing and reminding. Guilt from the past becomes fear for the future. I have grace for others but not for myself. Even some mistakes that I made as a child still wound me deeply.

I want a life without falls. To be a toddler without toddling and toppling over. I want to walk perfectly.

But that’s kind of boring. Certainly not video worthy. As I watch my daughter play the game of fall-stand-walk-fall, my mind begins to reframe memories.

Seeing little child Melody, teenager, young adult, adult, teacher, wife, mama Melody not only tumble but overcome and grow strong.

If only we could be as encouraging to each other as we are to babies. Saying “Get up! You can do it! You are growing! You are learning!” How different would our world be then? Our churches, homes, workplaces and schools?

I remember when I first found this verse. It became a battle cry against the enemies of my soul and mind telling me I am useless and will always fail.

The Lord is our light. Light shows what is wrong but doesn’t delight or dwell on it. He gives us the strength and grace to get up and carry on.

I love the words in Casting Crown’s song, “Voice of Truth”

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out my name 
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times 
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win!

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
The voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
. Full lyrics here. Listen here

Who are you listening to when you fall down?

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