Sweet 16 (months)

My baby will be 16 months tomorrow! I can say with gratefulness that this is a very sweet time. I was watching her sleep on her bed (yes, her own bed now) in awe that this little human is mine. Awe, delight, a bit of fear and weight of responsibility.

Those long eyelashes predicting a very gorgeous woman one day. The marks on her face from tumbles and play. Those little hands perpetually reaching for my breast. The next 16 she will be reaching for my car keys.

I don’t take many moments to pause and watch my daughter sleep. Usually I run out of the room as fast as I can to enjoy solo time, before her cries notify me that it is game on again. The daily whirlwind of play, stories and food and cleaning up from the play, stories and food. When not in that whirlwind and I have a chance to catch my breath it is so easy to get caught up in the ever marching beat of time. Always looking to the next thing. Career. Baby #2 dreams. Travel. Home improvement projects. Volunteering. All good things but if left to roam in my mind unchecked they become dangerous distractions.

I had a vision/dream I can’t remember if I was sleeping or awake but in the dream I was trying to run faster and faster. I looked so stressed. It wasn’t a pleasure run but a striving and yearning that wasn’t being satisfied no matter how fast I ran. Suddenly a big hand on my shoulder slowing me down to almost a stop. I held my daughter’s hand and we walked slowly to the park. I felt God say, this is the pace I have set for you. Don’t try to outrun it.

When my identity gets tangled in achievement I am in trouble. It is a black hole that is never satisfied.

How much I learn from watching my daughter fully engaged in the now. Whether sleeping, singing or thoroughly enjoying a smoothie. She is all there. May we be too. For the simple moments of life are too brief and too precious to miss.

Wonder May we never lose our wonder
May we never lose our wonder
Wide eyed and mystified
May we be just like a child
Staring at the beauty of our King
Bethel Music

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